48 THINGS TO DO ON A LONG AIRPLANE RIDE

48 THINGS TO DO ON A LONG AIRPLANE RIDE
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1. Fart loudly and act shocked, looking around to see who did it

2. Fiddle around with the emergency exit, then ask a fellow passenger if
   he has a crowbar.

3. Run down the aisle screaming,"He's got a bomb! He's got a bomb!"

4. Go into the bathroom and make rude bodily noises, then come out looking
   refreshed.

5. Tap at the windows, saying "Looks pretty tough" then ask somone if they
   have a bat you could use to test.

6. Disco dance in the aisle

7. Mess up your hair, untuck your shirt, basically look crude, and mingle
    with a first class guy as if you were long-lost friends

8. Give someone a coin, saying "Heads, I detonate the bomb. Tails, I
    don't"

9. Go into the bathroom, drop your pants, then come out, yelling "We're
    out of toilet paper! Stewardess!"

10. Describe your sex life in great detail to the five-year-old next to
    you

11. Try to lead plane in song "Oh I wish I was an Oscar Myer Weiner"

12. Lead a revolt against the first class passengers

13. Attempt to promote Hinduism among the passengers

14. Lead a bible study session in the back of the plane

15. Start a hot dog stand

16. Steal businessman's laptop, play solitaire on it

17. Pinch the stewardess' butt as she passes

18. During the inflight movie, ask to share headphones with someone

19. When two people kiss in the film, belch real loud

20. When there's any nudity, say "Hey! He/she must be real cold!"

21. Tell the person next to you your life story, from DNA to that
    afternoon

22. With the person next to you, discuss cannabilism among airline crash
    passengers on deserted islands

23. Pick your nose and pat the person next to you

24. Show off your Batman underwear.

25. Switch accents and see if anyone notices

26. During the meal, loudly explain that on time you ate shark fin soup
    and proceeded to puke all over the airplane, spewing chunks of shark
    on the other passengers

27. Sneak into the cockpit and hit the warning alarm.

28. Explain how, one time, the plane was crashing and the oxygen masks
    didn't come out, 'cause they aren't really reliable, and that if the
    plane was to crash, everyone would die

29. Scratch your butt, then sniff your finger

30. Go into the cockpit, flick on the intercom light, then loudly inquire
    as to why the fuel dial says "e"

31. Go into the cockpit, ask the pilot in an obnoxious voice "Why do the
    call it the COCKpit?" then snort as if it's the funniest thing in the
    world

32. Don't use deoderant, then "accidently" stick your armpit in someone's
    face

33. Sneeze, using somebody's sleeve instead of your hand to cover it

34. hilarious, then expect
    others to do the same

35. Wear a hairpiece and switch it often, seeing if anyone notices

36. Act like a movie star

37. Scream and dive under your seat for no apparent reason

38. Ride carry-on luggage down the aisle, yelling "Yeee-ha!"

39. With a desperate look, ask the stewardess where the bathroom is, then
    look relieved and say "Nevermind. Do you have any towels?"

40. Jump up and scream "AAAHHH!! I left the stove on!!"

41. Ask someone for their autograph, pretending that you think they're
     Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise (This best when the person looks nothing
    like the movie star in question)

42. Start talking Korean

43. Pretend you're flying the plane

44. With a fellow passenger, Re-enact the disco scene in "Airplane!"

45. Get some rub-on tattoos and a leather jacket, pretend that you belong
    to a biker gang

46. Take over the plane with a toy gun

47. Yell to someone "Is it time to hijack the plane yet?" (Note: Do this
    when there are stewardesses there)

48. To the person next to you, say "It's amazing that they didn't notice
    the grenade in my luggage

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