medical horrifying humors!!




The following are excerpts from various American medical
journals.....prepare yourself, they are pretty amazing (But all
are True)   You have been warned!!!!

INNER SKELETON -
    A 63-year-old widow was admitted to hospital in Recife,
    Brazil, suffering abdominal pains.   X-rays showed that she was
    carrying a 20-inch long skeleton of a fetus which she conceived a
    decade earlier. It had become lodged outside the womb and was
    never expelled from her body.

    FEMALE SOFA -
    A 500 lb. woman from Illinois was examined in the hospital. During
    the examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under her armpit, a dime
    was found under one of her breasts, and a remote control was found
    lodged between the folds of her vulva.

    OUCH! -
    A couple hobbled into a Washington emergency room covered in
    bloodied restaurant towels.  The man had his around his waist,
    and the woman had hers around her head.  They eventually explained
    to doctors that they had gone out that evening for a  romantic dinner.
    Overcome with passion, the woman crept under the table to administer
    oral sex to the man. While in the act, she had an epileptic fit, which
    caused her to clamp down on the man's member and wrench it from
    side to side.  In agony and desperation, the man grabbed a fork and
    stabbed her in the head until she let go.

    SEX EDUCATION -
    A Californian doctor examining a young woman with abdominal pains
    asked her if she was sexually active.  She said that she wasn't.  A
    later examination showed that she was pregnant.  Asked why she said that she
    was not sexually active, the woman replied "I'm not, I just lie there."
    When asked if she knew who the father was, with a puzzled look she.replied,
    "No.Who?

    BLIND DRUNK -
    A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER complaining of severe pain
    while trying to remove his contact lenses.  He said that they would
    come out halfway, but they always popped back in.  A nurse tried to help
    using  a suction pump, but without success.  Finally, a doctor examined him
    and  discovered that the man did not have his contact lenses in at all.He
    had been trying to rip out the membrane of his cornea.

    GROWING SEASON -
    An old woman in a North Carolina ER complained of green vines
    growing from her vagina.  Investigation revealed a large potato trapped
    in her  womb.  The woman then suddenly remembered that she had inserte it two
    weeks previously, because she thought that her uterus was falling  out.


    LAST STAND -
    A Cambridge man hobbled into the ER complaining of a permanent
    erection.  He admitted to doctors that while on holiday in Cuba, he
    frequented many brothels, and in one he was given some erectile cream
    to keep him hard.  He was told to use it sparingly. However, since he
    was having so much fun, he kept using more and more.  By the time,came
    to the ER, all the blood vessel in his penis were swollen and his
    testicles had  ballooned in size.  Doctors could do nothing except
    prescribe pain killers, and told him that  it would return to flaccidity in a few days.
    They also told him to enjoy his erection while it lasted, because it
    was going  to be his last.

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